Flirting With One More Year

I recently had the pleasure of once more spending an afternoon with my good (doctor) friend, doing MKSAP. We had a great time sitting together, drinking coffee, and gabbing on breaks between questions.

She is a bit older than me, and last year announced that she was ready to retire. She said she has other things to do with her time. Given that she is old enough to qualify for Medicare, I don’t think she is retiring too early.

She had told our group of friends that she wants to retire in the fall, in time to travel to some warm places with her husband. Her time to give her six-month notice is approaching.

However, she told me yesterday–in between study breaks–that she had discussed quitting (retiring) with the practice administrator, who countered with a offer to cut down to 0.5 FTE, enough to keep her benefits. She is thinking about it.

I am very worried she is falling prey to the One More Year Syndrome for all the wrong reasons.

In prior discussions, she let me know she has the financial means to retire. She does not need to keep working for the money.

I know she has developed some health issues, and really does want to travel more, before either she or her husband just can’t.

I pushed a little more (OK, a lot more), asking why she would consider still working despite having decided it was time to stop. Even if her schedule would be a little easier.

She told me she is worried if she stops working altogether, she just won’t do anything all day. (It is true that sometimes, on the weekends, she really doesn’t get moving before noon.)

Angel in a green dress with a red sash overhead
This angel can take it easy if she likes, but clearly she is on a mission. Is that mission to tell people to retire?

As we talked further, it was clear that she has plenty she wants to do besides work: gardening, clearing out her home office, improving her fitness, reading great books, seeing her friends more often without worrying about working the next day.

She may need a little help organizing her post-retirement days, but I don’t think she will sit on the sofa eating junk food while watching the soaps.

After we went over all the things she wants to do when she retires, she realized she needs to reframe her choice: She isn’t choosing to quit, she is choosing to start doing other things.

I don’t know what she will ultimately decide, but I hope that she will find the time to pursue some of her other interests–whether in her retirement this year, or by protecting her time after cutting down her hours.

Would you give up retirement plans for a reduction in hours? What advice would you have for my friend?

4 thoughts on “Flirting With One More Year”

  1. A full-stop retirement is often difficult for people who are very career focused. It sounds like your friend could benefit from the services of a retirement lifestyle coach to help her figure out how to structure her day and take some of the fear out of retiring. Often a gradual transition is a great solution. It’s almost like a “test drive” of your retiremnet lifestly. Personally, I’m getting ready to retire but I enjoy my work. Last year, I reduced my hours to four days a week. Later this year, I hope to reduce further. Even after I leave my job, I’ll probably still do freelance work, or volunteer work, but on my own terms.

    P.S. WordPress won’t let me comment on your post in the reader. Not sure if that’s some kind of setting you can adjust.

    1. Thank you for commenting, Michelle.

      Yes, I think my friend will need plenty of encouragement to finally stop working. She says she is definitely going to stop working when her board certification expires (she doesn’t want to sit the exam again), but I think she would very much like to have more time away from work than she will get even at 0.5 FTE. I don’t know of any retirement lifestyle coaches, but I will keep encouraging her to make plans for her retirement time.

      Thanks for letting me know about the issues with the reader. I can’t figure out if there is a setting to adjust, or if it’s a different issue (I think there were some issues with my site earlier today).

  2. I know I’m late to the game here, but she needs to give herself permission to retire. It’s more about letting go of the identity and culture she’s become accustomed to. Agree w/ the other comment that a coach could help here, or at least some self-coaching.

    I suggest she read From Strength to Strength and Top 5 Regrets of the Dying (at least the article).

    It will be feel right immediately. Her transition will take time and self-work.

    1. Thank you so much for the comment and the info, Dawn. I will see if I can work that info into our conversations….

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