I may have mentioned that my father in law passed away in 2024.
Between one thing and another, Mr. PiN and I are dealing with settling the estate. This is made more difficult by the fact that Mr. PiN’s dad was unable to keep up with paperwork and financial tasks for several years before his death.
I recently spent a day off going through the last seven years of statements online. The goal was to look for payments related to his tax returns, but I found plenty of other interesting details.
Now, Mr. PiN’s dad was stubborn, and absolutely resistant to any hint that he needed help with his finances, so I can’t feel bad that we didn’t see signs of trouble when they first started.
However, after reviewing his accounts, it’s clear that he was not really competent to manage his money for several years before he died.
For those who are less stubborn, or possibly those who are helping aged family or friends, here are a few details I found quite interesting:
- I started to find a number of checks that were not completely filled out.
- Also some checks with odd messages on them.
- Many very large checks to the local utilities, following months of apparently never having paid anything at all. (Implying he wasn’t paying his bills, and likely was contacted about having his water or electricity cut off.)
- Not to mention many more checks to charities, from a man who was apparently quite the tightwad. (Granted, this could be a sign of being scammed; or it could be a late stage wish to buy a better legacy. Alfred Nobel is a prime example of this sort of thing.)
- A definite scam–at least as far as we can figure out–was a previously reputable outfit, a vanity press, which rhymes with Hoot’s-Hoot. The family knew he was spending money with them, but figured it was his money, and the write ups in “Forbes Magazine” and “The Wall Street Journal” (in quotation marks since these were vanity issues that were not circulated publicly) made him happy. No one had any idea of how very much money they were extracting from him.
So, what does this mean for you, the reader?
Obviously, if you have an elderly relative who doesn’t want you poking your nose in their business, you aren’t going to be able to do much. I suppose if you really think someone is scamming them, you could report it (to the National Elder Fraud Hotline, or the AARP Fraud Hotline, or the local police).
However, if you are older and want to set up a safety net, or are younger, and have a good relationship with your older friend or relative, I found some interesting information from the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau. (Check out their download on Managing Someone Else’s Money.)
If you aren’t going full-on guardian or financial power of attorney, you can still:
(a) Be a “trusted contact person.” Brokerages and some banks will do this. If a broker or banker starts to see concerning signs (like lots of new charitable donations, or withdrawing lots of cash with a new “friend” in attendance), they can contact you (the trusted contact person). You don’t have power over the accounts, but can talk with your elderly relative or friend about their new financial decisions.
(b) Be named on a “convenience account.” The money in the account won’t be yours, but you can help your elderly relative or friend manage their affairs–say, by paying their bills, or setting up their utilities to autopay, etc.
Again, this sort of arrangement only works with the cooperation of the older partner. However, I can see how helpful one can be in dealing with elderly relatives who may be declining (or who are just being careful about a decline).
Are you someone who has had to help older relatives with their finances already?