The Flip Side Of Money And Medicine

I think about money and medicine a lot, and write about them often here. My writing usually focuses on the practice of medicine and saving money.

This post is a little different.

The past week or so has been spent away from home, watching other people practice medicine on my Dad, while I spend money like water.

While I deal with all the challenges this week has presented, I have had the opportunity to reflect on how my pursuit of FI (financial independence) has helped–or not–during this time.

Present-Me thanks Past-Me for savings

What makes dropping a lot of money on a last-minute, unplanned emergency trip less awful? Knowing you actually have money available to pay the bills.

I have to thank past-me for saving money every paycheck, and putting some aside in a separate account for travel.

This travel account has sent me on many wonderful vacations. The ones where the hotels and plane tickets were paid ahead of time were the best–no coming back to huge credit card bills.

This trip, I will come back to huuuuge credit card bills, but it’s OK; I have money put aside, and it should cover most, if not all, of our costs.

I still winced as I bought last minute (same day!) tickets to join my mom. I just had to keep repeating the mantra: this is what money is for, this is what it’s for. Which is true.

Anyway, thank you, past-me, for putting aside the money that lets me buy last minute tickets and stay at a hotel without hunting for bargains. Knowing that I don’t have to go into debt over this.

Practicing Skills Pays Dividends

I will be honest, when your mother asks to please come right away, you don’t spend a lot of time comparing ticket prices. Or pursuing every last discount on hotels.

The first 24 to 36 hours were saw a geyser of spending without (too much) attention to price.

However. Once the first adrenaline rush fades, and you realize that you are going to be in this for a long haul, old habits assert themselves. Years of practicing looking for bargains or squeezing some sort of rewards out of necessary purchases pop up.

After a $32 breakfast for two, Mr. PiN went shopping and took advantage of our hotel room mini-fridge and microwave. It took a few breakfasts to break even on the new coffee mugs, oatmeal, and coffee fixings, but it happened.

Valet parking was spurned for the free overnight parking + an early morning wake up to feed the meter before leaving for the hospital.

Frequent flyer numbers were attached to the last-minute tickets, and hotel points are being collected for our extended stay. Though some people may say you aren’t traveling for free with points and miles, I say, if you have to pay anyway, try to salvage something from the costs.

I am hopeful that, in the end, I may get about $30 back from my credit card (almost enough for that first breakfast!), and possibly a free plane ticket and hotel night. I’d rather have a healthy parent and less stress, but I will take a free getaway if that’s all I can get.

I am still sure that the eventual total for our trip will be much more than we ever spend for a pleasurable week in Europe. Nevertheless, I do feel better knowing that we will probably have saved several hundred dollars through some simple measures.

Money Doesn’t Fix Everything

You know that. I know that. But sometimes we forget this lesson in pursuit of financial independence.

Once I’ve paid off my loans, we think, or have half a million in the bank–then everything will be great. And of course that isn’t true.

My Dad has a best friend who has been calling me daily. They have known each other since they were 3.

He is a supremely shrewd businessman, and has more money than I can imagine. He also has a partner he is losing to Alzheimer’s. For all the money in the world, he can’t make that better.

Yesterday he reminded me that Life is hard.

I know that some people, if they knew his net worth, would scoff at the thought that life is difficult for him. It’s true that he can afford ’round the clock care for his partner, and still live in a lovely house, and visit friends sometimes; this makes life much easier for him. And yet, watching someone dear to you slip away into dementia is still awful, whether you are broke or richer than Croesus.

A Good Support System is Priceless

Lastly, I have to acknowledge how rich I am in family, and friends, colleagues, and my spouse.

When I left town without almost no notice, for an unknown amount of time, my partners and schedulers stepped up amazingly well. Their messages of support, and prayers offered, meant a ton.

The friends who I meet with every weekend by video–each and every one of them–sent messages of support. One even helped research longer-term housing near the hospital (alas, it wasn’t anywhere I would take my mom. Nor even much cheaper than a nice hotel).

Mr. PiN has been such a support. He came with me, and it was so helpful to have 2 young(er) people to help instead of just one. It could be that several family friends have described him as a saint–which I can attest that he is not (though he is an excellent person, in my unbiased view!).

Lastly, I have to talk about my siblings. We fought plenty as children, but my parents put a lot (a TON) of effort into making sure we understood how important we are to each other. Now, 45 years later, we are stepping up for each other. Though it sucked to have to learn to share clothes and toys (and parental attention) all those years ago, I am so grateful that I have them to come and help. I can’t wait until they can show up.

None of these gifts are anything you can buy in a store.

Take away lessons

So, what would I recommend for you, the reader, on your way to financial independence?

Well, first–don’t let your parents get sick. Explain to them that they should stay healthy until a very old age.

If that doesn’t work, these are the takeaways that I recommend from this experience:

One. Make it a habit to put money aside for emergencies. It’s true that I could float my purchases on a credit card, but they would be hanging over my head for a while if I managed my finances that way. And if I were paid on a strict productivity basis, I would also see my earnings drop for the next month or so, which would make paying off that credit card even more painful. Better to have some cash sitting around for this sort of thing.

Two. Flex your frugality muscles. Or, if you don’t really go for frugality, practice looking for bargains. It may not help at the rushed beginning of an emergency, but for tough times of longer duration, these are good skills to have.

Three. Work on some of the real sources of wealth in your life. Nourish your relationships with friends, family, and especially your spouse. No amount of money can replace the riches of loving and being loved. Reaching FI without these relationships will leave this an empty goal.

Wishing you all a loving, healthy, and prosperous 2023.

–Physician in Numbers