My sister-in-law–that is to say, Mr. PiN’s sister–had a big surprise in 2025, which I’d like to discuss while keeping things anonymous.
A long-time friend of hers passed away. That itself was sad, but not a big surprise, as her health had not been good for some time.
The friend had named my sister-in-law the executor of her will, which was a surprise, as she hadn’t really asked if my sister-in-law would agree to take on the job. However, that was not the big surprise either.
The big surprise is that this friend, despite (as far as I can tell, as I never met her) dressing cheaply, living cheaply, and spending very little, left a large estate. Very large.
It’s not 100% clear how large the estate actually is, which makes extra work for my sister-in-law and the estate lawyer.
What I really wanted to write about, though, is the part of the executrix job that my sister-in-law is loving.
It turns out that, after listing a number of people who should receive bequests, the friend ran out of steam. Her final instructions were to give away the remaining money to fund projects that will honor her memory and support her area of academic interest.
This means that my sister in law, after years of struggling financially, and after even more years of enduring academic in-fighting, now has the pleasure of controlling large amounts of money to bequeath where she sees fit.
I will not lie: she is enjoying the ability to get a little revenge. You can bet your boots that certain academic departments, based on their prior behavior, will not see a dime.
But I must also say that she is truly happy to encourage proposals from various departments and academic societies. The excitement in her voice as she goes over proposals she has already reviewed is absolutely sincere.
She is very much looking forward to disbursing large amounts of money to honor her friend, once it’s clear how much is available.
That’s nice, you might think as a reader, but what does this have to do with me? I don’t think I know any secret millionaires who are going to leave me the job of donating a large estate to various charities that I get to choose.
I suspect you are right, and you won’t be able to give away millions of other peoples’ dollars any time soon.
On the other hand, I think it’s important to remember that giving is an important part of being human. It makes us feel good. It’s good for society.
You might not have a million dollars. You might be trying to save up an amount many times that.
But consider giving some away before you have reached ‘your number.’ It’s kind of fun.
After watching my sister-in-law, I might suggest letting someone else give away money you provide. It’s a gift you can make to the person deciding where the money goes, as well as to whoever receives the cash.
What is your favorite way to give to others?
One of the first rules of naming an executor is to make sure they are willing and able to take on the role. That said, what an interesting situation for your friend to decide which organizations get all that money.
Yes, becoming an executor is not supposed to be a surprise. My sister-in-law had been supporting this person in other legal roles before they died, and was willing to take on the role when she was told of it. I think the friend was worried she would turn it down if she asked while she was still living.