When my father became very ill last spring, I realized that my mom didn’t really know everything she needed to in order to manage the household finances. I couldn’t believe that she didn’t know how to get to all the accounts.
Then I realized that my husband was in the dark about much of our household finances. We had our first money date while on vacation, visiting family, this February.
Now that COVID-19 is going around, I feel a little more urgency to make sure he can really manage if I am unavailable for some reason. We took care of the bills together at the beginning of April and May.
I asked if he would be willing to be interviewed about the process again. We will see if third time is the charm, as far as feeling ready to tackle things on his own. This time I have added my commentary to his answers, the editor’s prerogative.
The Interview with Mr. Physician in Numbers
How did you feel when I wanted you to do the bills again?
I felt it was probably the right thing to do considering the national emergency, and that I wasn’t ready to do them myself yet.
How was the experience for you this time?
I approached it with a degree of excitement and interest, though it was difficult to focus at first because of background noise from the ocean cam (Monterey Bay) you were playing in the background.
Once the noise was gone, it went well, but I was having difficulty maneuvering around your laptop (a Mac), which works differently from mine (a PC). [Of note, I have saved my login information on my computer, so if he doesn’t want to look up the account information, it’s much easier to manage the bills from my Mac. I know it is a security risk, but it’s a risk having unpaid bills, too.]
When we were about 90% done, I lost energy, concentration and understanding. Thankfully you took over at this point. [I guess I wore him out.]
What was the most surprising thing you learned?
How little I actually care about privacy and PIN numbers, and how quickly I was willing to give them up for convenience. I didn’t think I was built that way, but I guess I am. [See above re: account logins.]
What was different about this time doing the bills?
The first time I saw it as merely a theoretical exercise. I figured it was good to know how to manage the finances, but planned for you to keep doing it.
Given the pandemic, I feel I should bear down a little more.
What did you take away from the experience?
I took away three things:
- Wow, doing this online is wonderful. I don’t have to find the stamps, I don’t have to remember to put the envelopes in the mail box.
- What chance does the the USPS have to survive, now that no one has to mail their bills back?
- Certain people are not cut out to do the bills. I am one of them, so no doubt my lot in life will be to pay the bills. [What a pessimist!]
Would you be OK doing this again? If so, how soon?
Sure.
Do you mind if I take back doing the bills?
That’s fine, thanks.
Would you recommend doing the bills together to other couples? What advice would you give them?
Don’t do this too often, just enough.
Do you feel ready to manage the bills on your own? (In case I can’t do them for some reason.)
I hope that I could summon the strength to manage it myself, if forced to.
I feel a good deal more comfortable that my husband can manage the bills if he has to. Thankfully, the situation with Covid-19 is looking better in our region of the country; though with everybody trying to open businesses up, I worry the situation won’t remain so sanguine.
I can also see that we each have our own strengths in the household. I am looking forward to taking back the bill-paying. It is SO much easier to do it myself. I will gladly concede tree trimming and gutter cleaning to Mr. PiN.
During this pandemic, have you been working to make sure both partners can manage the finances? If so, what was your process?