Month: February 2020

When my father became very ill last spring, I realized that my mom didn’t really know everything she needed to in order to manage the household bills.

I started thinking about my own household: I have been taking care of the bills ever since we got married. Most of our discussion about the bills has gone something like this:

Me: I’m going to pay the bills this morning.

Him: Thank you for taking care of this.

Me (sometimes): Can you believe this water bill?

Him: I don’t know what to do about this, I do a lot of cleaning.

Clearly, we haven’t been communicating well about our expenses. I wasn’t really sure that my husband would be able to manage things if I were incapacitated.

Before our last vacation (which conveniently fell over the first of the month), I asked him if he would pay the bills that month. Of course, I would help him.

This would be our first real money date. I asked him if I could interview him afterwards, to see what he thought about it.

I note that my husband has a strong internal censor.

Continue reading “A Money Date Interview”

It’s a funny thing, jewelry.

If you think about it rationally, you’ll have to agree that it is expensive and a poor investment. Like a car, the price of almost any piece you might buy drops as soon as you take it home.

On the other hand, jewelry has been coveted and valuable for thousands of years. It can help dress up an outfit, start a conversation, or just straight up signal wealth and status. If you like a piece, it can work for you for many decades, unlike a car or cell phone, which is unlikely to last more than one or two.

I have to confess, I was able to accumulate plenty of jewelry over the years as gifts. My mother (who loves this stuff) has given me plenty of lovely pieces, especially for special birthdays (16, 18) and graduations.

Earrings are easy presents for birthdays/holiday/souvenirs. I have given and received a number from girlfriends and relatives.

Of course, who can forget the tradition of the engagement ring and wedding ring. I suppose I decided on my wedding ring, but my fiance picked out the engagement ring; we looked at rings together, but he made the final choice himself and surprised me.

It was therefore an odd event for me, last year, when I decided I was going to buy something expensive for myself.

Continue reading “Buying My Own Bling”

I recently attended a conference on Physician Wellness, during which we were asked to do an exercise in pairs. Alone, we were to write down three goals at our job. Then, we were to ask our partner about a time when their work aligned with those goals, and how they felt.

My partner for this exercise was a hospitalist, who talked about the joy in finding time to really talk to a patient. When you don’t have to rush off to the next emergency or phone call, and can have a longer talk about who they are when well, or what has been happening, or just listen to someone who is sick and needs support.

For me, I thought about a visit I added on during the holidays, with no one scheduled afterwards. We had time to talk beyond the allotted 15 minutes, and to cover a few more problems, to build a stronger connection. I even had time to write the office note, while my house staff took care of business in the hospital.

In both cases, what we wanted was enough time to do our jobs well.

Continue reading “Medicine And FI, Fast And Slow”