I just took another staycation.
Mr. PiN and I went back and forth several times about staying home versus trying to get away; our desire to travel was up against an unreliable car and unreliable planes. We finally decided to stay put once I scheduled several medical appointments. I elected to call it a self-care staycation.
To be honest, it hasn’t been the best vacation I ever took. Since I am likely to be taking more staycations in the future, I thought I had better take away some lessons (again), and remember to use them next time I decide to stay home.
I hope that these may be useful to you as well.
What have I learned?
For me, money isn’t the biggest issue anymore
Thank goodness.
The reasons I had for choosing a stay-cation: expected flight delays and cancellations, potential problems getting back into the country (before the testing requirement was dropped), probable difficulties with last minute reservations anywhere I wanted to go. For the most part, these are not problems that I can solve by throwing money around.
Paying through the nose for a last-minute ticket (even a first class ticket) still wouldn’t insulate me from a canceled flight out of Amsterdam. Or get me a room at a sold-out resort.
I suppose if I were super-rich (have-my-own-plane rich) I could solve some of these issues with money; I am not holding my breath on that scenario.
Sometimes, self-care isn’t all that much fun.
Ah, self-care, the panacea of women’s magazines.
Magazine-style self care sounds sybaritic: go to a spa, get a massage, sit in a hot tub, get your nails done. Unfortunately, I’m not ready to do any of that with COVID still circulating in the community.
Practical (frugal) self care may be a little less luxurious, but do-able: sleep in without an alarm clock, exercise more, get things done. However, the lack of an alarm clock doesn’t guarantee a good night’s sleep, and working out is still hard (even when you have time for it); getting things done involves annoying chores you were happy to put off while working.
Some aspects of self-care are important, but very much not fun. I.e. Healthcare. I finally got my shingles vaccine over vacation, and I must say, it knocked me on my behind. I suppose I’m glad not to have been scheduled to see patients while I felt lousy, but spending 2 days with fatigue and malaise (what a great word, but a bad condition), was a sucky way to spend a vacation.
You need a plan…
I am used to a structured day, and it’s one aspect of my job that is good for me.
Without a plan, sometimes I…falter. Default into time-wasting activities that I don’t ultimately enjoy. (To be clear, one of the key self-care activities for me on vacation is reading, which can engage me for hours. Playing solitaire on my phone or refreshing Apple News does not have the same restorative effects but can suck up far more time.)
I started with a list of things to do: mostly things that had been bothering me for months. Clearing out the accumulated items to donate in my home office, debriding the towering piles of journals in the living room, etc.
I forgot to make better plans for fun things, which is one of my key regrets. To be fair, I wasn’t sure how much the shingles vaccine would put me out of commission. And one of my friends bailed on me for a coffee date–darned COVID! (Her partner came down with it and she had to cover for him at the hospital.) But maybe I should start making a list of (COVID-safe) activities I can do on my next staycation.
..but you should not plan too much.
At first, I was glad to have a list and things to do around the house. Especially while I didn’t feel great enough to want to do anything outside.
I told myself (and I hope it’s true), that this is also self-care: clearing my home space, so I don’t feel overwhelmed with junk when I am home.
There was certainly plenty to do: bags of journals to recycle, many items to give away to my Buy Nothing group or donate, weeds to pull, MKSAP to do, blog posts to write (OK, some of that didn’t get done).
But after a while, I just felt stressed all day, wondering what I had to do next. Or wondering if I was really done with one of my chores on the list.
This was not necessarily making me feel more relaxed and rested.
One group of friends decided to read an article by James Clear on Goal Setting, which I did accomplish during my time off.
One lesson I will take away is to set an upper limit to my projects. I suspect this may look something like: I will spend no less than 2 hours and no more than 5 hours during my vacation sorting through accumulated medical journals.
Not working does not equal a guarantee of happiness
I will be honest, I haven’t been very happy this Spring.
My issues are none of them serious–in 1 to 2 years I may laugh at myself as I look back on them–but there’s plenty of blah going around inside my skull: the stock market is down, my dad’s getting older, I’m less fit than last year, several things I was promised at work haven’t come through… you get the idea.
I was hoping that being off work would lift my mood. I had a great time being at home 2 years ago, while Mr. PiN was recovering from an operation (at least, I had a great time once I knew he was on the mend).
It turns out that staying home without any purpose or new distractions is not that great for lifting the mood.
When I was in charge of the household during Mr. PiN’s convalescence, I had a mission: take care of Mr. PiN and keep the house going. Getting meaningful things done definitely produced some endorphins in my brain. I am very glad he is fully recovered, but it left me feeling there wasn’t anything very important to do.
Of course, traveling and sight seeing also produces plenty of endorphins (new things! new people!); but there’s a limit to how much novelty I can find in a town I’ve been living in for 20 years, especially if my options are limited by COVID concerns.
When I retire–whenever that may be–I will definitely need to work on finding meaning during my days at home.
These concerns were behind some of my goals for Future Me, which have been dropped since the pandemic. It is clear to me that I will need to bring them back once infection concerns drop. (Of course, once I am no longer concerned about infecting my patients, I suppose I can loosen how careful I choose to be.)
What should I do next time?
This all begs the question: what will I do for my next staycation, the next time I have to choose to take one?
- I need a list of fun things to do if I stay in town. COVID-safe, if that’s still a concern the next time I vacation at home.
- Included on that list of fun things should be something that connects me with others: coffee, lunch, walking, an art class. Something.
- When I make my to-do list, I need to include an upper limit to my chores. My list will never be completed, since every time I finish something, I notice 3-5 more things to add to the list. Setting that upper limit means I can actually feel like I have accomplished something, rather than always falling short.
For those who take staycations, what are your favorite things to do? Aspects you most regret?