The other day I read a blog post detailing the “Best Day Ever.” The author is retired, and has a lovely day fishing, playing tennis, watching his wife mow several lawns. Despite the fact that I don’t fish, play tennis, or want to mow lawns (even with a nifty riding mower), I was so jealous.
What made me jealous was his and his wife’s connections with others: helping keep 2 older friends on the tennis court, since they were too old to manage playing a full game on their own; volunteering at a charity and feeling needed; and supporting their neighbors by mowing their lawns.
I used to be the friend who sent holiday cards and visited on her vacation. Last week I missed acknowledging a nephew’s birthday, a big wedding anniversary, another wedding anniversary (June weddings), and a graduation. I was busy working in the hospital and dealing with a summer cold.
When I entered residency, we were told at orientation that medicine was a demanding field, and that we should expect to miss events because of work obligations. It was an unavoidable side effect of working in this field.
Over the years, now that I am an attending, I’ve found that I can manage to attend big or planned events (weddings, holidays) if I make it a priority.
It’s missing the little things–being too tired to find the birthday card, or forgetting to get stamps so I can’t mail it–that make me feel sad. I liked being the one who helped build a little bit of community, who was the one who brought friends together.
I suppose that if reading about someone else’s day makes me feel so jealous, I should work to make this a priority. Both when I, myself, retire, and also today.
What are you looking forward to doing when you retire? Do you need to wait to do it?
Hey, I didn’t know anyone actually read my posts, thanks! I bet you do an exceptional job of helping others and building them up both on the job and off. The very fact that you recognize the times you miss something supports that.
Thank you so much for dropping by, I didn’t think anyone would actually read any of my posts either. BTW, you are my very first commenter!