Running On Empty

Today is day 1 of a vacation, one I have been looking forward to for about a month.

I knew I still couldn’t go anywhere (thank you, COVID), but I made big plans for my 4th staycation in 2 years.

Oh, the plans I had! Walking, tidying, decluttering, taking care of lots of postponed business. I wrote a list, and I got tired just writing it down.

I find myself exhausted today (and yesterday, and the day before). I slept in late 2 days in a row, something I never do.

Last week I was working in the hospital, with a great team, actually. Also, I was feeling guilty about not sending a acknowledgement of the death of one of my patients; feeling less guilty about sending a card to an (older) friend who had just lost her husband after a very long year; very sad about my friend’s mom getting a bad diagnosis; dealing with a mother-in-law who was back in the ICU (she is on a regular floor now).

Another pair of Passover Seders has come and gone, with all the last-minute preparation guaranteed to make someone crazy, and none of the in-person visiting that makes them a joy.

This morning my father-in-law called to say that he had confirmed his appointment for his second vaccine on the wrong day. We fixed it. Then he called to let us know he had received a call from the step-son, that he had been in an accident and was in jail several hours from here after attending his mom’s wedding. A total scam, but that did require several calls and texts to be sure.

I am thinking about my bucket–not my bucket list, but my energy bucket. You could consider it my cup (as in, my cup overfloweth…or not); or spoons; or gas tank.

I looked at my list again, and my Future Me goals (with my follow up planned for April), and put them aside. For now, at least.

It’s time for another nap, and some fun books, maybe some easy wins (a load of laundry sounds about right). Once my bucket is partially full, it will be time to think about all the tasks I want to finish.

I’ll see you on the other side.