You may have noticed I haven’t been posting much beyond my Fitness Logs recently.
This is mainly because I have been working in the hospital. A lot.
Hospital weeks are always intense, with plenty of sick patients, the need to supervise residents and teach medical students. There’s also the whole no-days-off thing.
So you may imagine that I wasn’t particularly thrilled to be pulled in for emergency coverage soon after finishing my own scheduled stint in the hospital.
I was already sleep-deprived. The house was a mess after my last hospital rotation. I had a full schedule of clinic patients who needed to be rescheduled.
What kept me going throughout that week was an email from my boss, reminding me that I would get a bonus for this extra work.
I adjusted that number for taxes, and fantasized about how I was going to spend it when my week was over.
Mr. PiN and I agreed it wasn’t to be used for mundane things, like a new dishwasher. It should be a total treat, a splurge for me.
When I was tired and didn’t want to go in to the hospital, when I was rushing from hospital floor to clinic back to the hospital, when I was up at night signing notes, I thought about what I would buy to remember and honor my hard work.
Jewelry or art work, that was what I was thinking. Expensive, frivolous, but lasting: somewhat like my jewelry purchase from Greece, which I bought with my first bonus after paying off the house.
This little day dream buoyed me through a tough week, and then, suddenly, I was on vacation in some very expensive mountain towns. These were the perfect places to window shop, and possibly execute my plan.
Except that I didn’t really see anything that spoke to me.
I was willing to blow a good chunk of change, but only for something I really liked.
It’s been a month, and I still haven’t gotten around to shopping seriously for this memento.
I am not sure if this is a good or a bad thing.
On the one hand, working towards financial independence has taught me to scrutinize expenses carefully. Decluttering has taught me to be skeptical of bringing new items into the house unless I need them. Simply thinking about spending that money gave me most of the dopamine lift I needed during my hard week, maybe there’s no need to actually spend the money. Overall, it’s probably wiser to keep the money and bank it.
On the other hand, this is totally extra money, earned with some real sacrifice. I should feel free to use it for something that will bring me joy, even if that joy won’t be permanent.
In the end, it’s probably fortunate that I didn’t spend that bonus on my trip, as the amount approved by the department administrator was only 75% of what I was told verbally (that’s another story, one I won’t be sharing).
Nevertheless, I’m still considering what to do with that bonus money, as I’m not quite ready to fold it back into our regular budget.
What advice would you have for me?